


Someone to be afraid of losing me

by becka



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: 69 (Sex Position), Cuddling & Snuggling, M/M, Pillow & Blanket Forts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-31
Updated: 2013-05-31
Packaged: 2017-12-13 14:19:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/825262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/becka/pseuds/becka
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>It's like this sometimes, when the lads are all out and about with each other or their girlfriends, and Niall's, well, sat in the hotel making blanket dens by himself. It makes him wonder whether they're better friends with each other than they are with him.</i>
</p>
<p>Set during 1D's time in LA back in December, which tells you something about how long it took me to finish this...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Someone to be afraid of losing me

**Author's Note:**

  * For [balefully](https://archiveofourown.org/users/balefully/gifts).



> For Lucy. She knows why. <3
> 
> Britpicked by the fabulous [lazy_daze](http://archiveofourown.org/users/lazy_daze/profile). Any mistakes are my own.
> 
> This didn't happen.

Niall takes the duvet off his bed, and the stiff fabric holds itself up nicely as he drapes it over the back of an armchair, pulls it taut over the lamp bolted to the wall above the bedside table. It's not as expansive as he would like, even with the addition of the itchy blanket from underneath, and he misses the days of two-queen rooms with twice the bedding and more company besides. His room adjoins Liam's, and they've left the door unlocked, but Liam's out with Louis and Zayn at the moment, and just sitting in the hotel feels a bit empty, even though he'd wanted a nap. 

Niall kicks off his trainers and takes all the decorative pillows (and who could possibly need this many fucking decorative pillows?) off the bed and chucks them through the open flap of the duvet. Then he curls up on the pile of them in his new den and swipes through his contacts, sorting out who he could ring. There's no point to sitting under a load of blankets alone. He tweets, _Members only whats the password??_ and lets the internet chew on that one for a minute before texting, _The password is Ham_ to the rest of the lads, in case they should come back. Liam has already replied, _Password to wat???_ and Zayn's come back with, _Of course it is_. Niall thought Zayn would be in the middle of getting his tattoo done now, but he's a bit glad he's not. Maybe they'll even be back soon, and he can persuade them into his den.

Finally he settles back on his pillows, wiggling his little toe through the new hole in his sock and trying not to think too hard. It's like this sometimes, when the lads are all out and about with each other or their girlfriends, and he's, well, sat in the hotel making blanket dens by himself. It makes him wonder whether they're better friends with each other than they are with him, and he thinks about ringing Demi, not even texting but actually ringing to chat, because Demi gets that ‘alone in a crowd’ thing as well as anyone he knows. But he can't make himself do it, doesn't want to bring her down with his sad sacking when she's busy. He scrolls through his google reader feed, tweets a couple of gifs at Eoghan in London, even though it's midnight there, and he's either out or in bed.

It seems like ages, or maybe he dozes off for a bit, but then the adjoining door from Liam's room opens, and Niall's pleased that they don't bother knocking, that they just come straight in and then he can hear them pause as they take in his glorious work. ‘Makes sense now, doesn't it?’ says Zayn.

‘What's the password?’ Niall calls.

‘Balls!’ replies Louis immediately, and that means all three of them are there, and that's perfect.

‘Incorrect! But nice try. Have another go!’

He hears footsteps and then Liam kneels down to poke his head in at the end of the den beside the chair. ‘You don't actually have any ham in here, do you?’ he says.

‘Sad to say, no.’ Niall grins at him. ‘But you said the password, so you can come in. Just take your shoes off. I have to sleep on this later.’ Liam pauses to untie his trainers, and then he crawls in on hands and knees. He's tall enough that he has to hunch a bit, even sitting.

‘I like what you've done with the place,’ Liam says politely. ‘But are you sure the lamp won't, like, set fire to the duvet or anything?’

‘Hasn't so far.’ Niall shrugs. ‘Anyone else want to gain entry to this world of wonders here?’ he calls.

‘Does that sound like a porn setup to you?’ says Louis to Zayn.

‘Yeah, I reckon,’ Zayn replies. A moment later, they both appear in the opening beside the chair.

‘Saddest harem I've ever seen,’ says Louis.

‘Dunno,’ says Zayn with a wink. ‘The blond one's quite fit.’

Niall grins and Liam fakes a sulk. ‘You can't come in without the password,’ Liam points out.

‘Ham,’ they say in unison.

‘Shoes off,’ adds Niall. Louis's in his Toms and no socks, and the smell of feet is suddenly noticeable.

‘What would happen if you farted in here?’ Liam says, poking Louis's feet away from him.

Zayn points a finger at Niall. ‘Don't even think of it,’ he says. ‘I'll kill you.’

Niall throws up his hands. ‘I didn't do anything.’

Liam lies down lengthways, with his feet sticking out at the end of the duvet and the rest of him snugged up close at Niall's side. He lays one hand on Niall's chest, and Niall puts his own over it, feeling like this is exactly what he wanted. Even the four of them together just being quiet. It's enough to ease the lonely, unwanted feeling that’s been sat in his chest all afternoon.

Zayn picks idly at the tape on his arm. ‘Right, let's see the new ink then,’ says Niall, reaching out for him.

Zayn scoots up until his knees are pressed against Niall's hip. He pulls back the gauze and twists his forearm right up close to Niall's face. A skull grins up at him. ‘Wicked,’ he says, touching Zayn's wrist. ‘What about yours, Lou?’

Louis's sat farthest from him, down by his knees, and Niall watches him judge the tight space before literally crawling up the length of Niall's body to stick his arm under Niall's nose. Niall looks cross-eyed at it, so close at first he can't make it out. Liam wiggles his arm out from between Niall and Louis, and Louis's thighs are straddled around his hips so their bodies settle tightly together. He finally makes out the compass and looks up at Louis's face. ‘So you don't get lost?’ Niall says. ‘Hate to tell you it might not work, mate.’

Louis gives a little shrug, and Niall can feel it down the length of his body. ‘Still got the sat-nav on my phone for backup then, haven't I?’

Niall thinks maybe he should want Louis to move. It's a bit hard to breathe under his weight and Louis's shirt buttons drag against Niall's chest, but when Louis tucks his face into the side of Niall's neck, Niall slides an arm around his waist to hold him close. ‘When are you gonna get some ink of your own, eh, Nialler?’ Louis asks, his breath brushing over Niall's skin and making him go a little shivery.

‘Dunno,’ says Niall, fiddling with the hem of Louis's shirt. ‘Not sure it'd look good on me.’

‘Bullshit,’ says Zayn.

‘Everything looks good on you,’ Louis counters. ‘Even me. Specially me.’ He presses a sloppy, smacking kiss to the side of Niall’s neck, and Niall laughs. Louis’s solid, pressed against him, fingers seeking down Niall’s sides, tickling lightly.

‘You do that and he’ll kick and kill us all,’ Liam warns as Niall squirms.

Louis lifts his head to glare. ‘That was hyperbolic and untrue, Liam Payne. Niall is a gentle, caring lad who wouldn’t hurt a flea.’ He settles himself against Niall’s chest again, nuzzling at him, and Niall closes his eyes, feeling all his doubt and worry recede a bit now that they’re here and right up close to him.

‘What’d you do while they were getting inked?’ Niall asks Liam.

‘Played pool,’ says Liam a bit proudly. ‘I wasn’t too bad!’

‘Well, not by the time we finished,’ says Louis. Liam smacks his thigh, which seems well justified to Niall. ‘Oi! Everyone gets out of practice, Liam! It’s nothing to be ashamed of.’

Liam looks at Niall. ‘Does he need another smack?’

The first one had brought Louis’s hips crashing straight down into his, which was a little weird, but he can’t say he didn’t like it. ‘Always needs another smack, doesn’t he?’

Louis bites down on his shoulder, and Niall yelps and swipes at him but doesn’t push him off. He lets Louis nudges his nose against his collarbone, settle under his chin like a cat. Normally Louis is all manic energy and wild ideas, but now he seems pliable, maybe still strung out on the high of the tattoo.

Liam and Zayn leave after a while, and Louis waves them off, vaguely, still slumped against Niall's chest. Niall is starting to sweat under him, and one of the pillows at his back is slipping slowly sideways. But he doesn't move, rubbing his fingers in slow circles at the small of Louis's back. ‘Lou,’ he says finally, when long enough has passed that maybe it won’t sound weird, ‘who's your best mate?’

‘Stan,’ answers Louis automatically.

‘No, but like, in the band, who's your best mate?’

Louis hesitates. ‘Dunno. Used to be Harry, didn't it? But, you know, not now.’ He lifts his head, presses their noses together. ‘Are you my best mate in the band?’

Niall frowns like he's thinking it over, like it doesn't make him feel a little warm inside just having Louis suggest it. ‘Not Liam?’

Louis's eyebrows go up, and Niall is close enough that this seems like a huge gesture in his field of vision. ‘Is something wrong, mate?’ he asks, starting to push himself up and off. Niall grabs at the back of his shirt though, and Louis goes still again, leaning up on his elbows. ‘We all love you. You know that. We need you.’

‘Yeah, course,’ Niall says, swallowing down disappointment. He _knows_ that, he does. It just isn't the same, not at all, isn’t what he’s asking for. ‘I love all of you, too.’

Louis frowns. He wraps his arms awkwardly around Niall's neck, manages to tumble them over onto their sides and wrap his legs around Niall's waist as well, clinging. ‘Niaaaaaall,’ he cries, drawing it out to at least three syllables. ‘You're perfect and flawless and I want to climb you like a tree. I want to write odes to your beautiful eyes and the sunshine you bring to the wooooorld.’ Anyone besides Louis, maybe even Louis at a time besides this, Niall would assume he was being mocked and go along for a laugh. But Louis looks genuinely concerned for him.

‘I just want to be someone's best mate,’ he says. ‘Y'know?’

‘Right,’ Louis replies. ‘All right. Then you are officially my best mate. Congratulations.’

Niall bites at his lower lip. ‘Then why are you always out with the other lads and not me lately?’ He sounds so childish, but he doesn't care just now.

Louis looks like he's been smacked. ‘I haven't been though. I haven't a bit. I went and got a tattoo and then we came back here to be with you and have a laugh. You could have come if you wanted.’

‘Not today, just, generally, you know.’

‘I don’t know though.’ Louis bites the inside of his lip. ‘I don’t know at all. Did something happen?’

‘No. I dunno. Just having an off day, y’know.’

Louis presses a kiss at the corner of Niall’s jaw, nuzzles in against his ear to whisper. ‘You made us a fantastic den out of blankets. How can that possibly be an off day?’

‘Good point,’ says Niall. Louis’s mouth against his skin is making his brain go fuzzy, and he ignores the little twitch of his dick, hopes Louis can’t feel it with the way they’re tangled together.

‘You’re a great mate,’ Louis says reassuringly. ‘You’re everything I want to be. Everything I want.’

Niall remembers how he’d practically worshipped Louis back in their X Factor days—apart from his massive untidiness—how cool and confident Louis had seemed all the time, how he’d always make everyone laugh. It’s a bit hard to believe they’ve come to this.

Niall hugs him tighter around the waist.

Louis pulls back a little, presses the tip of his nose against Niall’s. ‘Niall, Niall, Niall,’ he says. And Niall thinks he’s going to follow up with something off-the-wall, but what he does is kiss Niall on the mouth. Which is more off-the-wall than Niall could have even expected. His lips are dry and warm, and he closes his eyes, which makes it seem more real, more serious, less likely something Louis’s doing just for fun.

And then Louis’s mouth opens, just a bit, and Niall breathes out into that small opening, lets his tongue flick over the softness of Louis’s lower lip. Louis opens wider to him, lets Niall kiss him more deeply, one hand coming up to cup his chin, to sit against the thrumming pulse in his throat. ‘Lou?’ Niall says uncertainly, pulling back to nuzzle his nose again.

‘All right, Niall?’ asks Louis as though this is normal, as though he kisses his mates all the time.

‘All right.’ Niall takes a breath and kisses him again. It’s tender, gentle, no rush, and Niall’s dick swells as Louis’s thighs squeeze around his hips. He’s not too sure what’s happening, what Louis’s trying to prove right now, but he doesn’t want to stop.

‘Wanted to do this for a while,’ Louis admits softly. He rolls them over so he’s on top again, and Niall’s pile of pillows slips sideways on the carpet, leaving the upper half of his back up against the floor. He starts to say something, but then Louis slides one of his thighs between Niall’s, the firm width of it teasing against his balls, Louis’s hips rolling down into his trapped cock. And Louis is hard too, his dick pressed up fat behind the zip of his tight jeans. Niall rocks up to meet him on his next thrust, and Louis gasps, bracing on one arm while he guides Niall’s mouth with the other.

Niall releases his grip on Louis’s waist and slides his hands down over Louis’s arse instead, getting a good handful to pull Louis in closer by. He’s full of restless energy, needing to move under Louis, rut against him, fucking come, but he doesn’t know how far he can take it. 

Then Louis breaks away from him, kissing the side of his neck, pushing up Niall’s t-shirt to bite at one of his nipples. ‘Oh, Jesus Christ,’ says Niall in response, back arching as his dick goes slick with a burst of precome.

‘Should have known you’d like that,’ says Louis, licking over his other nipple before biting down again. Although even Niall hadn’t known how much he’d like that little rush of pain and pleasure, so how Louis could have expected to is beyond him.

‘Maybe if I were really your best mate,’ Niall replies, and Louis looks up sharply, his quiff askew and his fingers still fiddling idly with Niall’s nipples, tugging at them.

‘If this is still just normal friend stuff to you, I’ve not been giving your mates from Mullingar credit where it’s due, I think.’ 

Niall laughs in spite of himself before he goes serious. Now that they’re talking and not just kissing, it’s harder to believe in all this. ‘Lou, what are we doing?’

Louis swallows. ‘Think I’m about to blow you, if you’re up for it.’ He looks almost shy, demure under his eyelashes, but also like he absolutely fucking means it.

‘Shit,’ says Niall, swallowing as Louis rubs at the shape of his cock, feeling out the fat length of him, the damp smear in the fabric over the head. ‘You don’t have to prove anything to me,’ he says. ‘Like, if you think, I dunno, that I need you to show me… whatever, you don’t. It’s enough that you’re my mate.’

Louis’s eyebrows shoot upward, and his jaw goes hard and stubborn. ‘Are you actually stupid, Niall?’

‘Maybe?’

‘I want to suck your cock,’ he says, a little shaky like the words don’t fit quite right on his tongue. ‘I have wanted to. And like, there’s literally nothing I’d rather do right now. But you’re doubting my motives. Don’t do that. That’s stupid.’

‘You don’t have to though,’ Niall protests. He is making a complete pig’s ear of this now when he could have Louis’s mouth on him and not think about how he’s no one’s best friend. He is stupid. But it doesn’t make any sense. Your mates don’t just blow you because you’re sad. That’s a big step up from wanking in the bungalow two years ago.

Louis frowns, and there’s no laughter in his eyes, and he stares at Niall’s face for long enough that Niall begins to squirm again. ‘I mess things up with words,’ Louis says. ‘Everybody knows that. When I think I’m being witty, it turns into the stupidest internet meme imaginable. But it’s awful seeing you upset. Awful and unnatural and should be banned from earth.’

‘And you thought a blowjob would help?’

‘Have you ever been in a situation where it didn’t?’ Louis counters. 

Niall kisses him. ‘I just wanted to be someone’s best friend,’ he says meekly. 

‘Then be mine,’ says Louis. ‘And also let me blow you.’ His hips rock up a little, and they’re both still hard, pressed close against each other.

‘Really?’

Louis groans and mimes beating his head against Niall’s chest. ‘We are living in some sort of time loop, aren’t we? Yes, you silly twat.’

Niall laughs, feels himself start to work free of the day’s funk, let go of some of the questions clenched up in his chest. He’s got a cosy den and the coolest boy he knows offering him head, so he’s well off by any standard. ‘And you’ll text me the next time you go out to get a tattoo with everyone else but me.’

‘And Harry,’ adds Louis, and what Niall sees in his face is what it’s like to have a best mate and then lose him, for reasons that are neither of your fault. And he wonders if Louis’s felt like this too, like he belonged to the band but not to any of them particularly.

They look at each other for a moment, knowing things they don’t say out loud, and then Louis kisses him again, hand skating along Niall’s thigh, up and in, teasing around the shape of his cock. ‘Can I?’ Louis asks, licking his lips.

‘Fuck, yes,’ Niall replies, dropping his head back against the carpet. He hasn’t ever thought about Louis that way, didn’t know for sure that Louis even liked boys. He knows Louis is attractive, obviously, and now that Louis is kissing along the waist of his track bottoms, tugging them down to get at his dick, Niall cannot imagine why this has never crossed his mind. Louis’s mouth opens hotly over the head of Niall’s cock, and Niall groans and punches at a nearby pillow to keep from grabbing at Louis’s hair. Louis takes him in slow, licking around the shaft of Niall’s cock, teasing at the edge of his foreskin. Louis looks up at him through the tangled wreck of his hair, and the heat in his eyes, the stretch of his mouth is obscene. The head of his cock slides along the inside of Louis’s cheek, bulging it out, and Niall moans tightly as Louis pulls off for a second with a slick pop.

‘You can put your hands on me,’ Louis says quietly, his lips slick and pink. He’s gone shy again, the little catch in his voice, like it’s not so easy for him to say he wants it.

Niall touches his cheek, sliding one finger along his cheekbone and back into his hair. Louis closes his eyes and takes a ragged breath. ‘You like this, huh, Lou? Are you hard?’ He tightens his fingers, and Louis actually whimpers.

‘So fucking hard.’

‘Lemme see.’

Louis goes up on his knees, his head bumping the duvet and making it sway against its moorings. He peels his jeans down and then his pants, which are tented out obscenely over his dick. Niall’s never seen Louis hard like this, the head of his dick slick and reddened, his hand cupping instinctively around it. He wouldn’t mind getting his mouth on it, he realises.

‘You ever done a sixty-nine?’ Niall asks.

Louis goggles at him. ‘No. Have _you_?’

Niall shrugs, stroking absently at his dick. ‘Yeah, once. With a girl. But how different can it be, yeah?’

Louis laughs. ‘Best best mate imaginable, I’d say.’

‘Don’t say that yet. I’ve never tried this before. Get down here.’

Louis struggles to arrange himself with his hips on the level with Niall’s head, his dick poking out between his clutching fingers. Niall curls into him, laps his tongue out over the slit of Louis’s cock, tasting him. Louis moans, low, stifles himself briefly against Niall’s thigh. Niall folds his lips over his teeth and starts to suck on the head of Louis’s cock, scraping his lips a bit against his braces, but it’s the little sound Louis makes as Niall takes him in that makes him certain this is what he wants.

He tries to swallow around Louis’s cock, and his mouth seems too wet for any of this, and he was completely wrong if he thought it would be similar to a girl at all. Niall realises he’s drooling all over Louis’s crotch, and he pulls off to swallow. Louis is still just breathing on him, rubbing a steady hand up the length of Niall’s cock.

‘When you said ‘never’ you really meant never, didn’t you?’ he asks. Niall swallows again, self-consciously.

‘That bad already?’

Louis shakes his head. ‘Not a bit. Just messy. I like it. I like that you haven’t. And I like that you want to do it now as well.’

‘I do,’ Niall agrees, and he gets back to it, working his mouth over Louis’s cock, taking the slick head between his lips and running his tongue along the fold of Louis’s foreskin. Louis moans, a little stifled sound, and sucks the head of Niall’s cock in again, not taking him deep yet. It feels so good, echoing Louis’s movements, the slow strokes of his tongue, getting into the give and take of it. The angle is tough, Niall pulling himself up with a grip on Louis’s arse, trying to suck him properly, and Louis groans and swallows around the head of Niall’s cock as Niall nuzzles at the hanging sac of his balls.

There must be easier ways to do this, but Niall is lightheaded and aching in the best way, thrusting shallowly into Louis’s mouth, savoring the soft, wet sound of Louis swallowing and knowing he’s too close to stop. He ducks sideways to say, ‘Hey, I’m gonna…’ and his voice comes out low and slurred. Louis just sucks him through it, Niall’s hips rolling up towards his mouth as he comes in long, wracking spurts over Louis’s tongue. He laps distractedly at the head of Louis’s cock, but he’s shaking all over, and his rhythm’s gone.

Niall reaches down to shove at Louis’s elbow, rolling him over as he pulls off, and fuck, but it’s so much easier like this, letting Louis fuck up into his mouth as he rests his head against Louis’s solid thigh. His balls are still tingling with aftershocks when Louis reaches down to tug at his hair, urging him back, and Niall goes, wraps his hand around the spit-slick base of Louis’s cock and shuts his eyes as come spatters against his lips, his cheeks, his eyelashes. He’s always liked sex a bit messy, but he’s never thought about someone else coming on his face before, and that’s a fucking shame because Louis makes this gorgeous little noise as he does it, and looks at Niall after like Niall covered in his come is the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen.

‘Fuck,’ says Louis, tugging at Niall’s shoulders until he can kiss him, licking the stripes of come from Niall’s cheeks and feeding it back to him, the earthy taste of it passing between them. Niall just swallows it down, sucks at Louis’s tongue and makes Louis whimper. It’s hot under the blankets now, stifling, and Niall pushes up one corner of the duvet, letting in a burst of cool air. Louis nuzzles a kiss to his cheek, sprawling across Niall’s chest on the nubbly carpet, pillows spilling out around them on all sides. ‘I’m gonna call it,’ Louis says hoarsely. ‘Setting this thing up was the best idea you’ve ever had.’

‘Ta,’ replies Niall. He looks up and sees the duvet is starting to sag at the center. ‘It’s not long for this world though. Gonna need to move in a minute.’ Louis gives an unconcerned little shrug. They’re both sweaty and half-dressed with their dicks hanging out, and moving seems like way too much trouble for now. He cuddles Louis in tighter, in spite of the heat.


End file.
